Happiness...is a cold kiwi.
The best stoner food is the easiest and most delicious.
Kiwis are good. Frozen kiwis are better. Everybody has a freezer and a spoon. Go buy a kiwi and put it in the freezer. It will keep for months.
When the mood strikes...
Place kiwi in freezer. Before enjoying, take out of freezer and let sit at room temperature for ~10-15 minutes. Slice in half with a knife. Scoop out the frozen fruit flesh and let melt in mouth.